I got directed by a nine year old who was on some course.
He was constantly disappointed that my lines weren’t word perfect.
Sorry little dude.
Excerpt from an upcoming production
- Scene 8: Maria's bedroom.
- (Maria, Martin)
- SOUND: bedsprings.
- MARTIN: The costume looks really great on you Maria.
- MARIA (as batman): I'm not Maria. I'm Batman. Take off your pants.
- MARTIN: Haha. That's really cute.
- MARIA (AS BATMAN): Who hired Joe Cool? Who!
- MARTIN: What's that?
- MARIA (AS BATMAN): You know I'm real tired of people like you making my town filthy.
- SOUND: Maria PunchES martin in the face.
- MARTIN: Aaargh! Oh holy s---. Aaah! My nose! Oh F---! It's bleeding. Owwww, Maria!
- MARIA (AS BATMAN): I said, I'm not Maria, I'm Batman. I also said, take off your pants.
I heard that the end of the world will be rolling around again this year. Much like it did last year with the Rapture happening and all that.
I probably picked a bad time to start a load of long term projects.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in my house putting words in specific orders. Writing a book for adults to read is much more difficult than writing a play for children. It requires many more words. I got to 10 000 words yesterday I think. This is the most I ever wrote about anything. It’s still
pretty shit but until it exists I can’t really start making it good. I’ve never been adverse to turd polishing.
It’s a booky thing to expand the world of the also currently in development 2 hander steampunk cabaret show. Merch sales!
I have half a radio play about cannibals written. Every time I open it, I read it and then close it again without doing anything. Stupid cannibals. Why can’t my protagonist defeat you?
I have somewhere between two and four directing contracts lined up. I think I said sometime that I would build all the props for one of them. Why did I do this?
Y&H will produce my play GAMEPLAN in Wellington mid-year.
Radio NZ will be broadcasting my radio plays DRONES and FORBIDDEN BIRDS EMBARRASSED BEES in the near future.
I will do two motivational speaking tours.
So, on paper I seem extraordinarily busy and successful.
SO WHY AM I BROKE? I EVEN STOPPED DRINKING! WHERE IS ALL MY MONEYS! STOP SENDING ME BILLS! I LOST MY PHONE AGAIN! ACK! RETCH! ACk!
(I am 64% complete on Batman: Arkham City. The hell with work. I’m Batman.)